we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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