okay pat passed out under dana's car
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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