I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
