no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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