yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize