just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize