my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
