i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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