dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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