i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
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Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me