I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize