so let's talk penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.