Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
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today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌