We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize