she smelled like a LAN party
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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