It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
