I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
