I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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