My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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