I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
