I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
