Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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