My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize