I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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