therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
