First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
