we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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