Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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