mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
