If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
