yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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