I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
