I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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