I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm really busy with my period
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