Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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