you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
