we have pet lesbian snakes
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
