Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
