I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
