I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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