Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
