He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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