I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
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She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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