Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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