Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
