batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This baby is an asshole
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
