he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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