Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
