ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
