just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
