Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize