he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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