Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
