He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
