those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
