i need an iv and a liver transplant
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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