I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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