even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
