i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she looked like the before picture.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
