3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
