I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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