So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize